Venus vs. Mars

I am my true character… only when I am comfortable. I am myself during the moments when I can talk for hours on the phone about anything or even nothing at all. I am who I am when I can share secrets and gossip without holding back. The times when I am free to share the deep feelings I hold with all my friends are when I feel the most comfortable.

Occasionally I find myself in situations where I feel as though I cannot fully act myself. I find myself feeling like an outsider simply observing the events that are occurring. I experience uncertainty, questioning if I should step within the boundaries into reality and engage in these events. Not knowing what to say or how to properly act makes me nervous and feel somewhat uneasy, therefore hindering my communication through language.

Work meetings or class discussions are prime examples of situations in which I feel abandoned from my language. My co-workers and peers contribute to debates and arguments while I witness from outside their circle. It is not that I am unconcerned or careless about the discussion, but I feel apprehensive about speaking out and voicing my opinion. I am hesitant because I am afraid of failure. I do not want to appear ignorant from making a thoughtless comment. The special moments when I do contribute to a discussion, I consciously map out in my mind exactly what I am going to say.

After reading the article entitled “Put Down That Paper and Talk to Me” written by Tannen, I realized that it is true that men report and women rapport. Our own discussions that we hold in our English class serve as an example. Those students who speak out and carry on the discussions are primarily boys, while the girls occasionally give their input.

About five minutes after reading “Put Down That Paper and Talk to Me”, the article became reality. As soon as my boyfriend came over to my apartment to hang out, he flipped on the TV. He insisted that he finish watching the basketball game which he could not possibly miss. I expected our night to be chill, one in which we could simply talk. But naturally, his view of hanging out is different from mine. I started to feel disappointed until I remembered what I had just read; the manner in which men communicate contrasts to the way women communicate.

Immediately after the game was over, I suggested that we go to Starbucks. Coincidently we each saw our best friends. My conversation with my girlfriend was about our week. We chatted about how crazy it was that Humes Hall caught on fire and how she was afraid all her clothes were set ablaze. We also spoke about her new potential boyfriend. My boyfriend however, recounted every single play of the game he just watched. It was almost as if it was a competition between him and his friend of who could remember the most plays.

Within an hour, I experienced countless examples that reflected the article I had previously read. It served as a friendly reminder of how two genders differ so greatly.